Farewell my lovelies!

“The Day” has FINALLY arrived.

I’m leaving for O’Hare around 10 am, and my flight to Washington Dulles leaves at 1 pm.  Once in Washington, I have a 4 hour lay-over, during which I will hand carry my checked luggage to Ethiopian Airlines to be checked on Flight 501.  My Dulles flight leaves at 8:30 pm local time, and I land in Addis at 7:30 pm local time  on Sunday.  I will then be driven the to guest house, eat something, unpack, shower, and attempt to sleep for a couple of hours.  I can get in the car to meet Sam at 10 am on Monday.

It will be very difficult for me to be without YOU during this time.  Not because I’m addicted to blogging (which I am) or because I’m addicted to emailing (which I am), but because YOU have sustained me during this almost-two-year journey.  YOU have lifted me up when I was down, and provided a much-needed cyber-shoulder to cry on.  YOU have talked me off that ledge via the phone.  YOU have shared your joys, your sorrows with me.  YOU have shared your stories, pictures of your husbands, partners, sisters, children, and parents.  YOU have become an amazingly close friend.  I cannot even imagine not talking/texting/emailing/blogging you daily.  It’s literally unthinkable.  But because of the strength YOU have endowed me with, BECAUSE OF YOU, I can make this journey solo, and meet my son, and keep all that unbearable joy in my heart until I return and can share it with you.

And when I return, I want to become YOUR strength, YOUR support, YOUR cyber-shoulder to cry on.  I want pictures of Samuel Yeabsera to sustain you, and help you realize, YOU can finish this journey as well.

So farewell my lovelies…my life would not be the same without you.  I hope to be the mother to Sam, that you are to your children.  I love you all so much!

"TO DO" list **UPDATE

Things to do today:

**UPDATE: got through the day vomit-free!  The pedi/mani and massage w/ hot rocks made a lot of the stress melt away.

Start laundry (all clothing, underwear I’m taking)

Run to drug store for Tylenol/other adult meds, gum

throw up

Take Lola to the vet for shots

Swing by Best Buy and pick up the voltage converter I already purchased online

Drop Lola off at home, put laundry in dryer

throw up

Go to Police Department to have Ofc Manna check the car seat.  By check, I mean install.  G and I are clueless

Get pedicure (my first in over 1 year!)

throw up

Return home, start another load of laundry

Call Jenni

Call Manda

throw up

Call Sandi

try some meditative yoga.  Fail.  Throw up.

Call Mom

Call Jaye

throw up

Call Kate

likely throw up while on phone w/ Kate (believe me, this has happened before, and she’s really gracious about it.)

Call Mona

Finish packing

throw up

Go to bed.

Can you tell the nerves have officially SET IN?!

Too much love

My head is spinning.  I’m going to meet my son in such a short time, I can now start counting down by mere hours.  No longer counting weeks or months…not even counting days…just hours.

I think about that moment when we meet for the first time, when a nanny brings him into the parents’ meeting room at Toukoul.  Will I cry?  Will I just be in shock?  How will he react?  I cry now just thinking about it.

But I also think about the moment I meet the Toukoul staff: Aster, Dadi, Wendi, Mule, Melat, and all the rest.  I have heard about them from traveling families, seen pictures of them from traveling families.  I have learned about their personalities.  I am already in love with these people.  These amazing people whose profession it is to bring children and families together.  And the nannies…how on earth to you say “Thank you” to someone who has loved and cared for your son for over 5 months?  Words are not sufficient.  I cry with these thoughts as well.

Then, I think about the blessing being bestowed upon me by having such a large group of families with the SAME EMBASSY DATE, all traveling together.  There are 7 families with Adoption Avenues who have the same July 13th date.  I know these families.  I talk with the moms on the phone.  I’ve seen pictures of the moms and dads and big brothers.  I’ve seen pictures of their glorious children.  I know I will be crying when I hug Mona, when I gaze into the eyes of sweet Oscar with his shock of curly red hair.  I know my heart will end up in my throat when I finally meet Jenny & Ron, Molly & Jess, Anne and her brother, the Rooneys, and the Williams.  These families have supported me, have sustained me during the wait.

A dear friend told me recently that my heart won’t grow 5 times when I’m in Ethiopia, it will grow 1 million times larger.  She said it will feel like my heart is breaking, but it’s just getting too large for my chest.  She said to be prepared.  But how on earth does one prepare for all that love?

All the bells & whistles

G and I have decided NOT to bring the laptop in-country.  This means we will NOT be able to Skype.  However, I’m getting a GO Phone, and will pick up a SAT card in-country so G and I can talk on the phone.  I will also use an internet caffe about 1x/week for email/FB/blog updates but they will not contain pictures.  I WILL take pictures and video of other AAA family babies (per the request of the families) as planned, but won’t be able to send those until we return to the US.  Hmm, I should probably pick up an extra SD Memory card for the phone.

Other electronics: My smart phone.  NOT for phone calls, but for the possibilities of texting, and for all the MUSIC I want to play for Sweet Sam.  I think it’s important that we start Dance Party USA as soon as possible.  Ray Lamontagne is also very calming, and will be good for the plane ride over.  I also have a lot of books on my smart phone (Palm, baby, Palm) but don’t know if I’ll be reading those on the long flight, likely just the Chicago to Washington flight (so I can re-charge the phone during my Washington lay-over.)

I will be bringing some physical books with me for the plane.  Stephen King’s Duma Key has been sitting on my shelf for about 5 months…it’s actually dusty.  It’s a good 500 pages, so should keep me busy for at least part of the 14 hour ETH Airlines flight.  I’m also bringing a good trashy Mary Higgins Clark, because I can usually knock off one of those in about 2 hours, and they are HIGHLY entertaining.  Finally, I’ll have a journal with me, so I can write everything down.  Since I won’t have the laptop, I don’t want to miss a thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m spending every waking moment with Sam…but he has to sleep sometime, right?  Now, I’m fully aware that my plans for documentation may very well be thwarted by my own exhaustion.

Of course, I’ll also have some Amharic phrasebooks (Lonley Planet’s is great), flashcards, and my Bradt Ethiopia (4th edition.)

I’m realizing that the more care packages, donations, and Sam Stuff I pack, the less clothing I pack for myself.  Oh well…good thing there’s free laundry at Toukoul Guest House!  That being said, all those traveling with me should be prepared to see me in the same 4-5 outfits for 3 1/2 weeks!

The necklace

So, I know it’s really silly to actually stress about jewelry in-country.  Seriously silly and wrong and oh-my-gosh-don’t-you-have-enough-REAL-stuff-to-worry-about.  But alas, I worry.  I have had a Pandora braclet that I’ve been wearing since we submitted the dossier.

It has glass beads in green-yellow-red for the Ethiopian flag, a chocolate & vanilla “blended family bead” and a blue-on-blue bead for Sam’s September birthday.  (the family & birthday beads were added after the above picture was taken.)

However, bracelet = hand, hand = close proximity to changing diapers,   diapers = possibility of poo, possibility of poo = possibility of poo on the bracelet.  So, I moved my more precious beads to a leather cord for a necklace.  But I was having to tie & re-tie it to put in on & off and it was wearing the leather.  SO, I thought, why not put on a stretchy cord.  Then, if Sam plays with it, it’s safe.  Also, I could add other beads and make it SUPER-DE-DUPERY special.

Today I went to the bead store (wanted to get something for Evelyn’s blessingway) and found some wonderful wooden beads.  Wooden beads have always spoken to me…from the earth, strong, natural.  So I picked up some brown and black wooden beads, and some stretchy string and went to town.  I then tied it off, glued the knot for safety, and here is the result:

sorry so blurry, but you get the idea

Are you Ph#%$ing kidding me?

I am about to go to bed after a very full day of family, BBQ and homemade chocolate ice cream.  When I open my eyes, I’m told I have just 6 more days on US soil.

Recap: The end of another week

It’s Friday…FINALLY.  I thing the work week moves in slow-motion (sometimes even pause or rewind!) while the weekends are in fast-forward.  I know the ticker says 8 days until I’m leavin’ on that jet plane, but I feel it’s more like 3 1/2 days.  I have the rest of today, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of work, then I’m GONE BABY GONE for 3 months.  I don’t want to even THINK about medicine or law during those precious weeks with sweet Samuel Yeabsera.  I don’t count weekends or Thursday/Friday of next week, because when I’m at home, there is SO MUCH to do and keep me occupied.

My family is coming up for a visit/BBQ/Bon Voyage party tomorrow.  We have sun today for the first time in a week, so I hope it holds.  (somebody needs to mow the lawn tonight!)  Sunday I have sewing to finish, and G and I are going to a movie; we haven’t been for so long, and it will be our last full day together before I leave.

I’m guessing (I could be wrong) that Tuesday and Wednesday of next week won’t be very productive at work.  Sam’s stuff is all packed, so I just need to pack mine on Thursday/Friday.  I’m guessing there will be last minute laundry as well (I don’t have that much clothing so I pretty much wear the same outfits every week.)  I checked the 10-day forecast in Addis (yes, you can do that here.) and checked the overall month-by-month forecast here (scroll down to “climate”)…it appears I’m in for some moderately-mild weather and possibly some rain. 

The care packages from families with children at Toukoul are starting to roll in.  I’m peeking in the packages (naughty me) and its all SO ADORABLE!  Oh, and Christine didn’t just send Sosena’s package, but some goodies for me and Samuel as well, including Sam’s first bath book!!!! Yeah, I was searching for one of those Christine!  Christine and her husband also sent a GOR.GE.OUS Buddhist wall hanging which I can only guess came from India during their travels.  It will be hung in Sam’s room, so peace settles on the room.  Just LOOKING at it seems to settle my mind and body.  What a blessing!

Decorum must be observed

I try to be a polite and respectful girl.  As each culture has their own customs and decorum, traveling to a new country requires brushing up on one’s Emily Post, to ensure not to offend.

Thankfully, my friend Christine, who is quite the world traveler,  has been researching, and recently shared the following Ethiopian etiquette  tips on our yahoo group. THANKS Christine!

• Etiquette is very important in Ethiopia, both socially and in business.
• If you take photos of the people, ask first and offer to show them their picture if you have a digital camera with a display screen. Children enjoy seeing their pictures a lot of the time!
• Be polite but not intrusive. It is OK to ask questions of the locals, but you should be prepared to be hassled a LOT of the time if you are white.
• The most common form of greeting is a handshake with direct eye contact.
• Across genders, men should wait to see if a woman extends her hand.
• People are addressed with their honorific title and their first name.
• Elders should be greeted first.
• It is customary to bow when introduced to someone who is obviously older or has a more senior position. Children will often be seen doing so.
• Greetings should never be rushed. Take time to inquire about the person’s family, health, job, etc.
• Ethiopians respect their elders and visitors should show the same courtesy.
• Tipping: Tourist hotels and restaurants usually add a 10% service charge to the bill. Otherwise tipping is fairly common, but only small amounts are customary.
•  The Ethiopian Highlands are mainly Orthodox Christian and restaurants do not serve meat dishes on Wednesdays, Fridays and during Lent.
• Shoes should be removed before entering mosques and churches. You may have to remove your shoes at the door no matter where you enter.
• Photographs should not be taken of military buildings and airports, and permission should be asked before photographing religious festivals and people.
• There is generally no touching between the sexes; however, if a foreign businesswoman extends her hand, a cosmopolitan Ethiopian may accept it to avoid causing her offense.
• Gifts are given with two hands or the right hand only; never the left hand.
• Do not bring alcohol unless you know that your host drinks. Most Muslims and Amharic people do not.
• Since Ethiopia is an extremely poor country, expensive gifts are not the norm.
• Giving a gift that is too expensive may be viewed negatively. It may be seen as an attempt to garner influence or it may embarrass the recipient as they will not be able to match it in kind.
• An invitation to a private home should be considered an honour.
• Do not presume that because food is eaten with the hands, there is a lack of decorum.
• Dress well.
• Punctuality is not strictly adhered to although considerable lateness is also unacceptable.
• You will always be offered a cup of coffee. It is considered impolite to refuse.
• Always sip the coffee slowly.
• Only use the right hand for eating.
• Expect a small earthenware or metal jug to be brought to the table before the meal is served. Extend your hands over the basin while water is poured over them.
• The meal ends with ritual hand-washing and coffee.
• Hierarchy dictates that the eldest person is the first to take food from the communal plate.
• Expect to be urged to take more food. Providing an abundance of food is a sign of hospitality.

Communication Style:

As a general rule, they are humble and respect that quality in others. They generally speak in soft tones. Loud voices are seen as too aggressive. Ethiopians pride themselves on their eloquent speaking style and expect others to speak clearly and use metaphor, allusion, and witty innuendos. They often use exaggerated phrases to emphasize a point.

 

As a rule, Ethiopians tend to be non-confrontational and offer what they believe is the expected response rather than say something that might embarrass another. Honour and dignity are crucial to Ethiopians and they will go out of their way to keep from doing something that could bring shame to another person. Therefore, it is important to treat Ethiopian citizens with respect and never do anything that would make them lose dignity and respect.

Overwhelmed

I really wanted this week to be one of surreal prose and thought-provoking posts.  But it’s not and it won’t be, and neither will next week.  I’m quite overwhelmed with emotions and realizations these days.  I am going to hold my son in literally a matter of days.  DAYS.  I never thought we would get to this point.

I’m NOT worried about traveling by myself.  I’m NOT worried about being in a foreign country without my husband or family.  I’m NOT worried about forgetting to pack something.  I’m not really worried about any of that.  Surprisingly I’m not even worried about being a good-enough mom.  I’m just overwhelmed with the reality of it all.  And not overwhelmed in a bad way, just overwhelmed in an emotional way.

I KNOW everything is going to be fine, and Sam and I will get to know each other in an easy-going-laid-back way, on his own time.

This is really happening.  As Joey Lawrence would say (remember Blossom?), “WOAH.”

Obsessed mama? You bet!

I am almost done packing for Sam.  Seriously?  YES. I just need to purchase and pack another 50 diapers and Sam’s packing IS DONE.

But before I zipped the suitcases closed, and looked at them in his room, all packed, for the next 14 days… I thought I should share some of my favorite outfits with you.

Here are some delicious PJs that Meg & Nathan got Sam.  How cute are they?  Cannot wait to see Sam’s little feet in the footie ones.  BTW: 100% cotton, no weird chemicals like in some PJs.

Sam will be all ready to go sight-seeing in this fab khaki number, complete with bucket safari hat!

And here is the outfit I want Sam to be wearing when he meets his daddy for the first time…I tear up whenever I look at it.